(500) Days of Summer
This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Tom Hanson, grew up believing that he’d never truly be happy, until the day he met ‘the One’. The girl, Summer Finn, did not share this belief. You should know up front, this is not a love story.
Summer’s Diary, Day (27):
Tonight our office had a party at a bar. It was really fun. I got to know my colleagues a little better. Tom, one of my better guy friends from work, told me he actually believes in love! His ideas about relationships were so weird and medieval, but I was still fascinated by him. I found out from his drunk friend later that Tom actually liked me. Tom denied it at first, but I think his drunk friend might be right. That comment suddenly made me notice Tom more. Come to think of it, Tom is quite cute, and we can click in our conversations. Plus we share so many similarities in our tastes in music. Oh dear I hope this is not counterfeit liking. I should talk with Tom about it tomorrow.
Summer’s Diary, Day (28):
I kissed Tom in the photocopy room! I just had the urge to. I think we naturally assumed the role of dating after that by going to Ikeas together, but I had to tell Tom that I was not looking for anything serious. I like Tom, but I just want our relationship to be casual. Surprisingly he was fine with that. I thought most men would not agree to a relationship that was not really heading anywhere. Now that I’ve honestly stated my expectations of our relationship, I’m sure Tom and I will be very relaxed and happy around one another.
Summer’s Diary, Day (110):
Tom came over to my place last night. And we just talked and talked into the waking dawn. I told him my dreams; hopes and fears that I’ve never told anyone before. He seemed to like the fact that I was drawing him closer into my life. I was grateful too, to have someone I was comfortable with to share my deepest thoughts and feelings. I could just feel this wall around me come down. Sometimes it even seems like he can see through me. The portion of my johari window that is known to me but hidden from others appears to be opening up for him.
Summer’s Diary, Day (260):
Tom and I had a fight yesterday. He acted like my boyfriend at a bar. I hate labels. I just wanted things to be casual. He even said he wanted us to be a couple. Our expectations of each other are too dissimilar. I am starting to get tired of our relationship. I wonder if I should end this.
Summer’s Diary, Day (456-476):
I am married! I just woke up one day and knew that my husband was the one I wanted to be with, something I was never sure of with Tom. Proximities really play a part in love. I was sitting in a deli reading when I met my husband. So what if I had gone somewhere else for lunch, or if I’d gotten there ten minutes later? I would have never gotten the chance to interact with my husband. Love does exist, it was just not with Tom.
I love the way you wrote this post! How you put yourself in her perspective and analysing their interpersonal relationship in each diary entry.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your interpretation of Day 27, when Summer first found out that Tom liked her, and that was when she started noticing him more. I think this is a classic example of "falling in love" for the sake of reciprocating Tom’s feelings. This form of attraction very often does not last, as much as Tom tried to maintain the relationship as the days go by.
However, I thought your diary entry for day (456-476) when you mention proximities playing an important role; I felt that Summer meeting her husband was more of fate rather than proximities.
cforceleste.blogspot.com
Interesting way of putting yourself in summer's perspective! It gives the reader an inlook to summer's feelings and thoughts.
ReplyDeleteIt just explains one thing that they are not fated to be together. Maybe it is due to the difference in perception towards love. The guy believed it but the girl doesn't.
The fact that summer married in around 200 days after she broke up with Tom, perhaps showed that Summer was not emotionally attached in the first place.
Your analysis of Summer's chancing her husband causing her to realise where her love lies reinforce my own concept that if one (e.g. Tom) were to be able to meet all the other girls in the world, he may then discover that there are more suitable suiters who can make him a happier person. So yes, I agree that Proximities really does play a part in love. But in life, one can never meet everyone, so we make do.
ReplyDeleteI think you view of Tom & Summer's relationship is a bit 'flat'. Single dimention but I guess it was from the way Summer acted on the show. Think about it, Summer reaction, like most people, is really drawn from her perception as a receiver of the message Tom was sending. Many a times, our perception shades our interpretation of the messages being sent to us. If Summer had a negative upbringing in the way she viewed relationship, maybe she would have responded differently, and not go down the 'conterfeit' track. Like she may not even want to enter a relationship to begin with. Maybe that is why Singapore has so many singles now....
ReplyDeleteHihi!
ReplyDeleteSadly, I have to say that I agree with lim. A relationship isn't just like that. It's more than just pure attraction but more of connection (mentally, spiritually, u get I mean).Yes, first impression do matters esp if it will remain with you for the rest of the encounters with the person (whom you love or hate). In addition, one's "blindness" or bias perception is also part of the factors towards a decision made such as viewing a realtionship. If Summer's blind to relationship, why would she start one in the first place?
A real unique way of summarizing how the show '500 days of summer went' i would never have the idea of summarizing a show through the different days in a diary
ReplyDeleteI agree with summer's diary entry for day 110.
Self-disclosure is very important in relationships. You might just have a differnet perpestive of another person through self-disclosure. Therefore i feel that for a relationship to move on, summer's diary entry 110, plays an important role for all of us in our relationships.
Like what everyone has said, I love how you present your article through Summer's point of view. I haven't watched this movie, but I believe what torn Tom and Summer apart was due to their dissimilarities in views. This shows how their dissimilarities cause the break up of their relationship. Tom had an idealistic view of love and believed in their ideas of love. On the other hand Summer place priorities on her freedom.
ReplyDeleteThis movie offers a non typical view of love.
ReplyDeleteTom and Summer sure have very different perspectives of what love is and what love should be. Tom is a hopeless romantic while Summer is more modern. Such differences in love and expectations of a relationship probably led to friction and hence the relationship discontinued.
I cannot help but feel that the interpersonal relationship concepts from Summer's point of view are superficial though as Summer never really meant any of it to add to the progress of the relationship. For example, things like self disclosure meant the world to Tom but to Summer I personally felt she did not really care what she shared about herself.
Wow thanks for blowing up the plot rachel! Spoiler! haha!
ReplyDeleteAnyway I felt that Summer shouldn't cheat Tom like that! She was leading him on! She is a condescending character that I dislike. She contradicts herself, does not know her identity nor course in life, and hurts others in the expense of her own juvenille foolishness. I really dislike that!
I agree with your Day 110 post! Self-disclosure is definitely important in a relationship. Letting your partner know more about you can help allow him/her to understand you better and hence miminize the risk of the both of you quarreling or having conflicts. However, I don't agree with Chervin's view that Summer is cheating on Tom. There's no right or wrong in a relationship. Who knows who is the right person that you want to be with until you know that there is that "feeling" there. Anyway, just my opinion :)
ReplyDeleteBreda
Good analysis of how the relationship between Tom and Summer progressed!
ReplyDeleteAnwyay, to understand better each character, Zooey Deschanel gives a very elaborate characterisation on both Summer and Tom here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxHi1-KVfsQ&feature=related
Hey Rachel!
ReplyDeleteI watched this movie and I did not like the ending! I really think that Tom and Summer are so suitable for each other! The first few parts of your post also showed how great they were getting along together. So how could the relationship have spiralled into such an unfortunate ending? How can one fight break up their happy moments? And if Summer really was not sure of Tom being her one and only, why did she lead him on?
I feel that Summer is not really sure about her thoughts and feelings, and finds reasons and excuses to push Tom away, and yet, she enjoys his company as a close friend. As a guy, I feel that it is quite hard on Tom, as the reciprocity of the relationship, the cost and rewards, are not balanced, since we all know that girls placed emphasis on emotional closeness, while guys placed emphasis on physical closeness.
ReplyDeleteWhoa. Like they say about (500 days of Summer); 'this is not a love story, this is a story about love'. I think that the biggest factor for their break up , or rather SUmmer's break up with TOm is not their dissimilarities in expectations, but rather some other factor which i can't explain. After all Summer did tell Tom that she did not end up with him because she was not sure of him.. and what is that that she was unsure about? Love is a complicated thing. Sometimes even when a relationship seems to be progressing so smoothly ( like during their self disclosure part ) it can still fall apart.
ReplyDeletehi!
ReplyDeleteYour post is interesting and allows those who did not watch the movie to have a good understanding of the plot! :)
Personally, i think that similarities between two person in a relationship is very important as it allows both parties to have a good understanding of one another. But this movie is unique as it shows that even though two parties have similarities at the begining, it does not guarantee success in relationship.
You have definitely portrayed Summer's feeling in an interesting way from what was gathered from the movie though I feel Summer's feelings towards Tom was more complex, but you definitely shown the different stages of their relationship.
ReplyDeleteIn the first place, Summer did seem to spark this whole relationship with Tom out of reciprocation and maybe a slight interest in his looks. Before they even went to the bar, Summer simply didn't show any hints to Tom at all! Yet that night, that slip from Tom's drunk friend has changed how Summer looks/perceives of Tom.
Throughout the whole relationship, it has been Summer in control. Summer started it, she sets the tone to it, she dictates the relationship, she doesn't even try to work things out with Tom. I guess at the end of everything, she just got bored with Tom since fun was what she was seeking initially (she kept mentioning that it was fun to be going out with him). And soon enough the novelty wears off and she begins to get bored. Instead of working things out with him, she began to avoid him emotionally at first (shrinking of hand) and everything then follows Knapp's model of "coming apart".
I think one reason why the novelty worn off too easily was that Tom was always giving in to Summer and trying to please her, hence Summer began taking Tom for granted in certain ways; and when Tom was dissatisfied with the status quo of their official status, Summer was displeased about that fact as she usually wasn't the one "giving in". She then realizes she wants out of the relationship.
I see Knapp's Model of Relational Development being portrayed here! Such an interesting way of blogging about this movie.
ReplyDeleteSummer's Diary on Day 110 shows us self disclosure, something which I think is rather important in any relationship. Without self disclosure, other people may not understand what you are thinking or feeling even if non-verbal cues are being used.
Interesting. Day 28 is the intensifying part right? And Day 456-476 is the bonding part! This whole story is so cool!
And I realise that it doesn't follow the sequence illustrated by the Knapp's Model. I think most relationships in real life also do not follow the sequence of the Knapp's Model.
It's such a special post!
=)Kai Ting
rocknstone (CHERVIN)>>
ReplyDeleteHey there! I know it seems like Summer was leading Tom on, but don't you think Tom was being too hopeful as well? In the movie Summer from the beginning was really honest and had told Tom that she was not looking for anything serious to come out of their relaionship, so i think her honesty redeems her from the expectations Tom demands from her.
com101sq (SHIQI)>>
ReplyDeleteHello! i agree with you on how Tom and Summer seemed to share so many similarities in the beginning , but eventually it was their disimilarites that led to them breaking apart. Tom is a real hopeless romantic senstitive guy whereas Summer is more modern in her thinking, and it was their different expections of each other that fuelled their seperation.
MONDE>>
ReplyDeleteThanks for the clip! I loved how she explained and elaborated on Summer and Tom's character traits!
KAITING>>
ReplyDeleteHI!! Yes I agree that not every relationship follows Knapp's relational model. In fact, relationships can jump steps or even reverse steps! I suppose that is why every relationship is unique.
CHEYRL>>
ReplyDeleteHello! Wow your explanation about Tom and Summer's relationship shows how knowledgable you are in this area! :D Now that you mention it, I agree with you that Summer was looking for novelty and that will wear off eventually.
I also definitely agree with you on how it was Summer who was in control of the relationship while it lasted. In fact, it was her character to be in control of things. And this Tom realized he lacked after Summer left him. Tom had always believed in this fate or destiny that would somehow push him and his one true love together, and when Summer destroys that belief, Tom then realizes how he was in charge of his fate, and he had to take the reigns of his life - not just in love but in every aspect like his career (quit writing gift cards to pursuing architecture).